Last week, we began exploring the “charge” that a box of Tagalong cookies had over one of my fabulous clients. We’re calling her “FC” for short and she agreed to share our e-mail exchange.
Note for those of you just joining the conversation: I suggest you click on over and read Part 1 first.
Without further ado, let’s pick up where we left off.
FC: I kept thinking about the fact that I usually eat a half to a box at a time (did I claim I don’t binge anymore?) when I have them, so Friday night I sat down to mindfully eat cookies and see what came up.
Me: Excellent! If you are going to eat them anyway... why not eat them with compassion and curiosity rather than eating them without really tasting them.
FC: What came up ~ The Girl Scout brand makes me think of little girl tribes, in uniform, having fun, doing good for the world, and that’s a charge added to the cookies. As if I could be a Girl Scout by just eating enough cookies! And the texture and taste of the peanut butter and chocolate is intensely satisfying to my taste buds, even when the first signals are coming from my stomach that it is sated.
Experts claim that excess food does not taste good, and maybe by the last Oreo of a full bag that’s true, but I find there’s still a space in which my taste buds are having a damn fine time while the rest of my body knows I’ve had enough.
Me: When you are eating from a clean place, excess food does lose its charge.
When you're eating for an emotional reason... maybe not.
Go with your truth and not the “expert’s” here. This is where you forget what everyone else says and listen to your own internal truth. Accept it. Love it. Embrace it for being yours. This is the space where you can then handle it and change how you work with it. (Rather than working against it.)
FC: I had the realization about the brand and wanting to be a little girl who fit into a tribe and wore a uniform and did good in the world after cookie #8.
Me: Fantastic that you know this. At this point you know it is NOT about the cookies.
What would have happened if you had stopped eating and started journaling or walking or meditating or _____? (I know there's the discussion below... just pause here and ask what would have happened.)
FC: When the thought occurred to me, I did journal about it. I thought “Is that true? Of course not! What’s the turnaround? Girl Scout cookies will not make me a Girl Scout!” That’s as far as I got.
FC: There were two left in the box, and I knew I’d had enough, and I knew what my crappy thought was, and I still ate the last two!
I have noticed that pattern frequently. If there’s too much food leftover (say over 70%) when I get full, I don’t want to throw it out because that’s too much to throw out. If there’s too little (say < 10%), I figure what can a couple of bites hurt, I may as well finish it. *
But if I look at the roll around my belly button, I can see where all those couple of bites have added up. So in the end, I think I had an important realization about my crappy thought that eating Girl Scout cookies would make me a Girl Scout, but it doesn’t seem to have removed the charge from eating the cookies.
Me: Great realization!
I'd love to see how you worked the thought.** It might sound silly, but really give this the time that it deserves. That you deserve.
Eating Girl Scout cookies will make me a Girl Scout. Is that true? Or is it even deeper? What does being a Girl Scout look like for you now? Part of a tribe?
Then work the thought: Eating Girl Scout cookies will make me part of a tribe.
Eating Girl Scout cookies will make me part of a tribe. Is that true?
FC: NoCan you absolutely know that it’s true?
FC: NoHow do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
FC: I think I should have lots of cookies. The more cookies, the more belonging.Who would you be without that thought?
FC: Not a Girl Scout! A healthy adult woman who has made her peace with Girl Scout cookies.Turnarounds:
FC: Eating Girl Scout cookies will only make me a part of an overweight tribe. : )
My tribe loves me for who I am, not for what I eat or don’t eat.
Sitting alone eating cookies doesn’t promote being part of any tribe.
A better bet for making friends would be to feed other people cookies.
It’s way too late to be a Girl Scout. I am among the tribe of Girl Scout Customers.
FC: Do you still have foods that have a charge for you even after you’ve done the thought work?
Me: Not when I've REALLY done the thought work. No.
Yes... there are some foods that are absolutely delish! And the snack food companies use that addictive combo of salt, sugar and fat especially well in Take 5 bars (for me) and Tagalongs (for both of us) to really create an issue. YES! The cravings are real. But NO! They don't have a charge to the point that I lose power to them anymore.
And I don't think they really had power over you since they sat in your freezer for so long.
Until you let them.
And it was a fabulous experiment!!!
Another thought to question:
Some foods have a charge over me. Is that true?
Or is it more true that your thoughts about the food carry the charge?
FC: It’s definitely true that my thoughts carry the charge. I was dismayed that after identifying a crappy thought and realizing it wasn’t true, there was still some charge left. It did not occur to me that I hadn’t thoroughly worked the thought.
In Summary
A girl scout can be a great leader. A cookie cannot. It will never lead you. Your thoughts about that cookie, on the other hand, can.
If there is still a “charge” around any food in front of you, it is not about the food. It is about the thoughts running through your head. Those are what deserve your attention.
In Truth & With Love,
* This pattern that FC pointed out will be the subject of Part 3 next week! This is so common and too good to let slide!
** When I said "I'd love to see how you worked that thought," I was referring to Byron Katie's four question and turnaround process called "The Work." FC illustrated this brilliantly with the thought "Eating Girl Scout cookies will make me part of a tribe" above. One piece that is not in this post is the final step of finding evidence to prove the Turnarounds to be true or truer. This evidence is what will, ultimately, help FC re-wire her brain and the story around the cookies.
