The Back Story

The Back Story

(The one with a few bumps in the road and a horse.)

 

For most of my professional life, I not only climbed, but partially owned the corporate ladder. It was rewarding… and stressful. To fuel the over-working and under-sleeping, I over-ate and under-moved. I cycled through pant sizes until I stabilized at a physical, emotional and mental size of  Unhealthy.

It was my truth, as I knew it, until it wasn’t.

Giving up Xanax and donuts (but definitely not coffee), I began to really listen to my own inner dialog. I began to notice what was real for me emerging through the fog and I found myself standing knee deep in my own Truth Experience.

  • The company I helped to build no longer felt safe.
  • The corner office began to feel confining rather than empowering.
  • My work there, while rewarding in the past, felt complete.
  • More importantly, I simply did not feel good.
  • And something was calling me home. Even though I wasn’t quite sure where home was.

I didn't know whether I wanted to be a coach or if I just needed one, but this led me to Martha Beck and life coach training. (Cue the Leap of Faith mentioned here.) After twenty-plus years in the corporate-sized world, I left the hamster wheel and pitched my tent in Truth.

Thus, the Truth Experience helped create me. I found it waiting for me when I decided to stop numbing my inner wisdom and listen.

My transition, while liberating, wasn't subtle or easy.

After dissolving the bit of my ego that couldn’t believe I left that Successful Life behind, I allowed myself to be vulnerable and honest about what I wanted to do. (None of which, by the way, looks like what they taught us in our MBA classes.)

What I wanted the very most was to go outside and play.

I delighted in all the possibilities until my inner critic began preaching:

  • "No! That’s not practical.”
  • “Never let them see you cry or sweat.”
  • “Always be the "expert" and you'll be safe.”
  • “If you tell someone what you really believe, they’ll think you’ve gone bat-shit crazy.”

Sometimes I even pretended to play, but there was this constant, nagging voice always judging whether I should be doing something more Productive and that resembled worshiping Busy.

Without even realizing it, I created another vocation under the auspices of play that, in reality, allowed me to hide behind a computer screen in my home office for most of the day.  My calendar was filled with client calls, teaching gigs and self-imposed deadlines.  While it was meaningful and rewarding, it quickly became lonely and, while Busy, a little boring.  I had become a slave to my workaholic tendencies again.  Very interesting.

It was in a round pen with Koelle Simpson and a horse that I finally began to remember.  Not just how to play, but why play is so vital to our spirits. It awakens my creativity, allows me to see things for myself and my clients more clearly, and Real Life problem solving becomes a game in itself.

Play is what makes the Truth Experience come to life.

It often takes Courage and the willingness to be Vulnerable and take Risks when the invitation to Play involves taking a Leap of Faith into uncharted territory.

Yet that’s what it takes at times to wake yourself up and watch your dreams come true.

That’s what I love helping people do.

 

Print the-backstory official-bioguiding-values

 

 

 

 

 

Photo Credit:  Jennifer Voss