I’m not a fan of church stewardship campaigns.  I’m especially not fond of guest speakers delivering testimonies for the purpose of raising funds over raising faith.

A few weeks ago, though, I was pleasantly surprised, when I realized words were coming at me worth listening to.  I caught my breath and scribbled notes on the bulletin's white space as the speaker elegantly mentioned, almost as an after-thought:

"People carry around things we were never made to carry."

As it landed on me, I naturally considered:

What am I still carrying around in my own life that I was never made to carry?

Physically ~ Mentally ~ Financially ~ Emotionally ~ Spiritually

I happily give myself lots of credit for all I have already put down. Still, there are always places where I can lighten my load.  It then dawned on me that the Truth Experience is not about the art of getting more done, meeting more goals, or even experiencing more things.

The Truth Experience begins by putting things down:

• Old stories that no longer serve who I am today and where I am going
• Stuff hanging around that creates opportunity to dust rather than play
• Errands that drain pleasure faster than a Hummer burns fuel
• Rule books that shackle me down vs. flexible structure that allows me to fly

In order to clear space for Truth.
Open space for play.
Create space for rest.
And in the stillness of that space,
Hear God and master the language of Grace.

That language comes with a keen eye for discernment.  When putting stuff down, we will inevitably choose to pick something up to fill the space that has just been cleared.  The ability of “intentional choice” becomes a gift and we begin thriving in "proaction" toward what calls our soul in the moment. (Proaction is a word in my vocabulary, by the way.)

One of my brilliant clients thought about extending this wish to someone the other day: “With all love and respect, and valuing your contribution to the team, I invite you to consider letting this go.”

Whatever “this” is, I agree!
Whatever you carry that you were never made to carry,
Put it down. Hand it over. Let it go.

• Open your car windows and picture it flying out the passenger side disappearing in your rear view mirror.
• Let it wash down the shower drain.
• Write the story and then burn it, in ceremony, to honor the past and celebrate the space you’ve created for the future.
• Wrap it up in a pretty mental bow and hold it up to God to transform it into good and return it to its rightful owner.

That last one puts a whole new spin on “re-gifting” doesn't it?  My hunch is that this is what the Christmas season is really all about.

What are you carrying around that you weren’t made to carry?
Give yourself a gift this year.
Put it down.
Grace will gather it up for you and clear the way.

In Truth & With Love,

Ever have something show up, right in front of you, over and over (and over) again?

Over the past few weeks, I’ve started to write about gratitude several times and then, in the creative pauses, found myself reading, hearing or being given books around this message instead.  Instead of ignoring it, I am listening and passing it along to you.

Those floating in the river will recognize it.
Those who don’t, I invite you in.
We have spare life jackets.

From the Elders of the Hopi Nation
Oraibi, Arizona

To my fellow swimmers:

There is a river flowing now very fast.
It is so great and swift,
that there are those who will be afraid,
who will try to hold on to the shore.
They are being torn apart and will suffer greatly.

Know that the river has its destination.
The elders say we must let go of the shore,
push off into the middle of the river,
and keep our heads above water.

And I say see who is there with you and celebrate.
At this time in history we are to take nothing personally,
least of all ourselves, for the moment we do,
our spiritual growth and journey come to a halt.

The time of the lone wolf is over.
Gather yourselves.
Banish the word struggle from your attitude and vocabulary.

All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.
For we are the ones we have been waiting for.

In searching for why God kept sending me this message over the weeks prior to Thanksgiving, I realize that the grace and truth in these words sum up how life has felt over the past few years. Change has been deep and I have walked through much of it holding faith by one hand and fear by the other.

Yet, when I let go of the shore and see the beautiful souls floating around me, I find myself releasing my grip on fear and being

Held by love,
Propelled by excitement,
Energized by meaning,
Surrounded by brilliance, and
Filled with a huge helping of gratitude.

Thank you!

In Truth & With Love,

 photo credit:  stereohype

Editor's Note:  I'm thrilled to be launching a new guest blog series this week!  Once a month (or so), a blogging friend will share a Truth Experience story or Ground Truth moment that has helped them reinvent, renew, or rewrite a piece of their lives.  This is a guest post from my friend and fellow coach Deb Droz.  Thank you, Deb, for sharing this!

Little girl self-love...
Wishing for boobs, stuffing bra with Kleenex before church (getting caught!)
Thinking calves too skinny, doing exercises to build them up
Sneaking on eye makeup (getting caught!)
Crushes on boys, imagining kissing
So eager to be a teenager
Comparing, despairing

Teenage self-love...
Wishing for boobs
Hating my stomach, dieting at 13
Permanently learned calorie counts
for every item of food in existence
Bikinis, Mini-skirts, Hot-pants
So eager to be an adult
Comparing, despairing

Adult self-love...
Wishing I could lose 3 pounds (THREE!!!) before wedding
Stomach not flat enough
Resigned to my boobs - no - starting to actually like them
Cellulite!
Watching years pile on my body, wishing I looked younger
(already)
Comparing, despairing

Pregnant self-love...
Boobs!
OMG - loving my stomach!
Eating for two, mindfully
Did I mention cleavage?!
In.My.Body
In awe... no compare, no despair

Wife/Mom self-love...
Gain weight
Lose weight
Repeat
Love with the lights off
Wishing I was younger
Comparing, despairing

Mature Woman self-love (ok, ok... Older woman)...
Still a wife, still a mom
Healthy food, moderate exercise
Thankful... for my loyal body, softer, rounder...
Comfortably sexy
Love in daylight
Comparing to the me 10 years from now...
Appreciating what is
No despair

Grateful, joyous, loving, abandon... Loved 

Deb Droz is a life coach helping women navigate little (and not so little) transitions. She can show you how to let your inner guidance be more of a leader in your life so it’s the life you relish - and REALLY live, working with you mind, body, and spirit to facilitate these shifts in a safe and supportive environment.

Deb is a new empty-nester, living in San Jose with her perfect-for-her husband, her favorite-mostly-at-college son, and  her beautiful beagle, Cleo...whose only flaw is that she continues to eat her own poop! 

To choose to be living in this space of what I want creates freedom.
To choose not to be creates resistance.

To be or not to be all of me,
Had become my question.

Do I conform to rules and chain myself to the “normal” way to make money, design my career, lose weight, or live life?

Or do I listen to my soul which guides me to create work out of play, revel in the awe and love of my family and friends, ditch structures that no longer serve, and be kind to my brilliant body that adjusts intuitively to support all of this activity?

You know the answer.
And so do I.

I choose plan "Be."

More and more often these days,
I find myself creating a magical life,
Thriving outside with nature, with friends
Where I feel fully alive.

What if we all create a career around serving the choice to be rather than conforming?
What if we choose dreams, healing, and love always over scarcity and fear?
What if we give ourselves what we long to receive?
What if we stand in our truth and never settle or adapt to something that doesn't allow us to grow?

Perhaps it truly is as simple as "To be or not to be."
And if that's how simple it is:

Why not stand in Truth?
Why not create magic for yourself and others?

Why not dare to believe that God is with you?
Right there. He's got your back.

Down this path, vulnerability never wins.  Fear doesn't stand a chance.

What if we choose to be love?
What if we always choose in the moment,
The option that feels the most like love for ourselves,
That becomes the reflection of love for others.
Choosing love is selfless.

Choosing to live life as love out loud is Divine.

To be or not to be all of me,
Had become my question,
Until, it led me to my answer.

Just be.

In Truth & With Love,

Every now and again, when I feel stuck on a question, I will sit down with my journal and a fun colored pen and write.  I will write the question at the top of the page and then, without censoring, let my hand write whatever comes up.  Often the thoughts that pop from my mind to the paper make no sense in the context of the question.  Sometimes they do.  Almost always they lead me to an answer.

Last week, I had the question "What do I really want?" laid out in front of me.  Here's what landed in my journal fluffed up just a bit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We all seem to want abundance.

Truth is, that word, (in the way we usually define it)
Doesn’t feel attractive to me,
Right now.

Right now, I crave less.
Right now, I crave simplicity.

I want quiet.
I want space.
Clean surfaces.
Brilliant design.

I want no to do list.
An open schedule,
Room to move.

I want Freedom.
Connection.
Creation.

I want to surrender the struggle
And welcome play.

Perhaps, to discover,
A fresh sense of abundance,

Full of
More invitations to laugh,
More invitations to groove.
More invitations to be still and listen

For
My mission.
My purpose.

With
A team sharing common values,
A love for life,
And surprises!

I want to wake up in the morning untangled.
Ready to go.
Ready to join the flow of play and grace.

Filled with unconditional
Newly defined,
Abundant love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What do you really want? I'd love to know.

In Truth & With Love,

Just last week, I reflected upon a beautiful story of horses, flow, and magic carpets. I tapped into a lovely nirvana of perfection that lifted my sense of mind/body connection to a whole new level.

Sometimes there are inherent dangers in such a reflection.  Statements like the one below tend to return in bold italics, new fonts, with twinkling lights around them to deliver another lesson.

If I'd been in my head, instead of in my body, it would have been totally different.

You guessed it.  I got to experience with my body (oh yeah, my whole body) exactly how different it could be.

As Monday rolled around again, I confidently showed up for another ride. Ready to repeat last week's success, I was assigned the same ornery horse.

No problem. I've got this. I graduated to a new level last week.
I pulled my confidence up by its bootstraps and away we rode.
Up hills, down hills. In the flow.
Unrestrained by confined trails, there was a request to canter.
In an open field.
On an ornery horse.
(Did I mentioned that already?)

The magic carpet returned!  For about ten seconds.
Instead of floating, I hesitated just long enough to buy into a really little, heavy thought and my energy shifted.  There was a simultaneous unraveling of the magic and the carpet.

"Too fast!" I thought. "I must control this!"
That's all I remember.
She bucked once, then twice.
Suddenly, all that movement jarred to a halt with me to the ground and Dama looking at me from above as a horse will after successfully tossing her load.

“The hell with your control.”  I’m pretty sure that was her message.

After a body part inventory, catching my breath, and climbing back in the saddle, we were riding again. Our energies were so entangled. 

Looking back, I can see that I was still in a stunned, adrenalin induced fight or flight mode and disconnected.  Outwardly, I was trying to act cool and remain in control.  Inwardly, I just wanted to make it back to the barn alive. I was NOT listening to any of the cues my body was giving me.  Dama was ONLY listening to the cues my body was giving her.  It was quite the dance of dissonance between the two of us for a few minutes.

Then I heard the whisper: 
“Jennifer, get back in your body."
"Feel. Allow. What is it you want to do?”

All I wanted to do was cry.
Relieved that I wasn’t hurt.
Relieved that I was back on the horse.
And I wanted to admit that I was scared.
I surrendered and slow tears slid down my cheeks through a stream of release.

And just like that, Dama calmed down.

I was honest.  I was in my body. Even though I was crying and scared and not “in control,” I was fully present.

Now, she could trust me to lead.  

We rode on for another hour.  Not a magic carpet ride, but a calm ride of mutual respect.

In Truth & With Love,

photo credit: LSOphoto 

I've been spending a lot of time with horses lately.

I've also been studying how the mind/body connection (or lack thereof) can really impact the quality of our experience.  Many hours, adding up to years of my waking life have been spent in my head, strategizing, convinced I had to be involved in every aspect of things to retain control and remain safe, while ignoring the feedback signals my body was giving me.

On Monday I rode with a friend and curiously found myself scanning my body as my horse, Dama, cantered up a hill.  I simply wanted to know if I was staying connected ("in my body") and/or if I was unconsciously contracted anywhere, trying to control, not trusting in myself or the horse. (Note: THIS was progress in my horseback riding ability. I used to just hang on to the mane for dear life praying fervently at any speed that exceeded a walk.  My praying was another way to pretend I was in control and left no time for body scanning.)

I felt my toes in my boots pressing on the stirrups.
I felt my calves and thighs holding on with gentle pressure.

No death grip.

I was leaning forward, head up, intentionally looking where I wanted Dama to go rather than down at her.  Focused, but not narrow or tense or questioning whether she would stop at some point.

I had, now that I think about it, relinquished control of "how" we got there.

I was simply riding.

The more I connected with my body, the more I connected with Dama.
Next thing I knew, we were in a full gallop.
I felt like I was riding a magic carpet through the woods.

SO ALIVE!

And yet it wasn't a high adrenalin excitement.
No heart racing.
Just freedom.
If I'd been in my head, instead of in my body, it would have been totally different.

If I'd been trying to control the outcome, I would have missed the magic.  

Without the delusion that I can woman-handle a thousand pound galloping animal, I was free.

Then Dama stopped right where I envisioned she would.  With a simple intentional adjustment in the saddle and respectful grip on the reins, we slowed to a walk and together stood at the top of the hill breathing.

In our bodies.  Smiling.  Ready to go again.

In Truth & With Love,

In last week's blog I wrote:

The “Go big or go home” rule does not apply in my version of this game.  What matters is to show up and play.

This invited some fun discussion and perspectives to consider. One question stayed with me and stirred me to ponder it further:  Does not having to “Go big” encourage people to “Play small?”

Well…  it depends upon your definition of playing small.

If “playing small” is synonymous for shrinking away from your full potential for any reason, then that is not what I mean here. At no time have I experienced the exhilaration of playing while also diminishing my value or sticking my light under a bushel.  

On the other hand, if “playing small” means making bite-size, obtainable moves toward your dreams and goals, then play on!  There is no "big or small" measuring stick in my version of this game.  In fact, attempting to "play big" will drive me to overwhelm and halt play faster than a streaker bolting across a ball field.

All evolutions begin with a step, a tweak, an idea on the back of a napkin, or a choice to live with love rather than fear.  Forward momentum ignites with one small step after that.  Continued forward motion happens with nourishment between moves and the ability to stay in the place of playful observation and curiosity.  Most importantly, all evolutions are not "big."

It's possible that all of these steps will add up to something "big" in the eyes of the world one day, but is that really the point?  To me, the point is consciously making the decision that I want to play and not go home and hide.  I choose to play. I choose to embrace what is small and live life in a sustainable way.  The desire to create a flow of sustainable living has been its own "small step evolution" in my heart that is now manifesting in my life!

There will never be another Steve Jobs.  That would be redundant.

What there will be are many gifted souls who, by taking his lead, will dare to share their form of crazy with us.  We all have our place in this world to leave a mark.  What a shame it would be to choose not to because we are afraid of what others might think.  Or we are afraid of tasting our own flavor of crazy.

I could keep my gifts and thoughts to myself.  Sometimes I do.  Then they become heavy and weigh my life down.  My growth is stopped, frozen in “ToDo” on my iPad, when I quit sharing and choose to crawl under fear.

I could pull up my big girl panties and play this thought-sharing, world-changing game. In that, I grow.  I give whatever gifts or ideas I was given a chance to play, too. This doesn’t mean to “just deal with it” and walk through fear.  Instead, it makes it a team sport, which, in my view, is much more fun than solitaire.

With gentle permission, we all start showing up, learning that our flavor of crazy is how we identify our position on the team. It translates to enthusiasm and passion.  When I play my position with that energy, I add value to the world.  Then, I feel compelled to invite others to play along.

The “Go big or go home” rule does not apply in my version of this game.  What matters is to show up and play. What I find to offer the world might not have a Steve Jobs type impact on millions.  I’m happy igniting one hungry soul at a time.  Sometimes that soul is me.  It’s the single ignition that keeps the playful game going.

With this, I’m extending to you the invitation to play.  Crawl out from under fear and embrace whatever form of crazy you were gifted.  This team can never be too big.

And in this moment, that is all that matters.

“Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

photo credit:  jonathan mak

I’m a fan of Seth Godin.  I’m a fan of Poke the Box.

In a nutshell, this short manifesto of a book outlines the formula to success in today’s quick paced, create-your-own-outcome world.

• Start something new without permission.
• Show up.  Consistently.
• Create to completion.
• Ship.
• Be open to fail.  Often.
• Be open to success.
• Rinse and repeat.

If we continue to try and maintain the status quo in mature industries, in outdated business models, in a life that doesn’t serve us, we will sink with the ship.  Our ability to be creative in our ever-changing world is the biggest strength we can cultivate within ourselves.

Doing work that matters is dependent upon showing up on a consistent basis, failure after failure, in order to hit upon success.

I am on board.  With one tiny exception.

I am a fan of naps.

Godin goes so far as to suggest that “When you’re doing hard work, getting rejected, failing, working it out – this is a dumb time to make a situational decision about whether it’s time for a nap or a day off or a coffee break.” ~ p.18

I do get that his frequent suggestion to not nap is his way of saying to stay the course no matter what obstacle appears.  I also get that my ex-workaholic brain and recovering adrenal system rebelled with an emphatic “Hell-to-the-no!” each time I read those words.

And I’m honoring that.

Some of my most creative and connected moments have been when I’ve taken a break and done nothing. When a customer meeting didn’t go as planned or a class didn’t sell, the way I return to the map the fastest is to take a mental break and breathe.  Take a walk.  Look out the window and meditate.  Maybe even nap.

Godin’s book is all about creating your own maps and initiating change and success under your own terms. Then, ironically, he lays out a rule for doing this that doesn’t work for me.  It’s in the spirit of creating my own version of success that I give myself permission to respectfully disagree.

You can do the same thing.  This is what finding your own Ground Truth is all about.

In anything that you do, if there is guru or a rulebook involved, try keeping only what inspires you to create your thing or meet your goal.  Then ditch anything that makes your shoulders rise to your earlobes or your stomach knot.

No need to poke any boxes that don’t serve your purpose.

In Truth & With Love,

Ps – From the Dustcover:  “Poke the Box is a manifesto about producing something that’s scarce, and thus valuable.  It demands that you stop waiting for a road map and start drawing one instead.  You know how to do this, you’ve done it before, but along the way, someone talked you out of it.”

Just so happens that I taught a class in July for the Martha Beck Master Series that is all about drawing your own business map.  Click here for the details.